The Clunkster

Beauty Review

biovène barcelona's boob and butt masks

Beauty, Beauty Review, Cruelty-Free, Sponsored, WellnessKristenComment

Once upon a time, I received a package from Biovène Barcelona that was full of skincare goodies, like a Glow Ampoule, a Retinol Youth Night Repair Mask, and… boob and butt masks?! Are you as surprised as I was? Great, we’re on the same page. I knew Biovène made so many products to help you and your skin feel healthy and beautiful, but to be honest, the thought of a boob or butt mask had never crossed my mind. 

Cut to me reading the directions and ingredients, doing lots of Googling, and sending Snapchats to my friends (“yes, they actually sent me an ASS MASK!”). Dear reader, I was very pleasantly surprised. So, we’re gonna have some TnA time on The Clunkster today. 


But(t) Why?

Think about it for a second: we put so many serums, creams, toners, patches, masks, cleansers, oils, etc. on our faces to keep our skin looking good and feeling healthy. But what happens to the rest of our body? I love my boobs and butt as much as (if not more than) I love my face, so why am I not paying the same attention to them? While I was typing this, I thought about my poor butt, which I’m sitting on right now. I sit on it all the time in so many different places, I lay on it when I sleep, she’s got a lot going on. If you were face-planting into various surfaces all day, wouldn’t you wanna show your face some love? So why not your butt? Only I’ll get you feeling bad for a butt, I swear. 


Baby Got Back Booty Mask

Let’s start from the bottom. The Baby Got Back Booty Mask has more of a scrub-like consistency. It’s meant to exfoliate, restore, and invigorate the skin on your booty. Ingredients like Australian Pink Clay, Carrot Seed Oil, Rose Petals, and Jojoba Oil cleanse and shrink your pores, so nothing gross makes its home on your beautiful bum. Like I said before, we sit in a lot of weird places. We all know the sensation of the occasional butt zit. It’s not fun! The only thing I want on my butt is a nice handprint. KIDDING! 

But speaking of hands on my butt, my favorite part of this mask was applying it in the shower! After you wash with your body wash (to quote Rocio Cervantes, wash your ass!), lather up your booty with the mask and rub in circular motions. Honestly, this made me feel so relaxed and in touch with my body. As I mentioned, please wash your butt, whether you’re using a mask or not. But have you ever spent some serious time showing your butt some love while giving it some nice, healthy ingredients? It’s a nice feeling, and your behind will thank you. 



Booby Berries Hydration Boob Mask

This mask is all about hydration, hydration, hydration! Again, how often do you make sure your chest area is doing well? Hydration is so important for every part of your body, especially coming out of cold and dry months like these. Lather on this mask when you come out of the shower, while your pores are nice and open. While this one is a bit more creamy, it smells like a dream and glides right onto the skin. Liquorice, Blueberry, Strawberry, and Chamomile work their hydrating magic to keep your chest squeaky clean and blemish-free, because tit zits are not the vibe either. 

Since my boobs are on the front of my body, I was able to see its effects more than the Booty Mask. In fact, my skin felt much tighter and firmer, which was a beautiful feeling I didn’t know existed. Though I love both of these products so much, if you’re only in the market for one, the Booby Berries are your best bet. 

I know this isn’t my typical review, but I’m so happy I took a chance on these masks! Thanks so much to Biovène for sending me their amazing products. Make sure to check them out on their website and Amazon. Use the code ITSMYBIO20 for 20% off your order!

Renpure's Keratin and Argan Restorative Shampoo

Cruelty-Free, Beauty, Beauty ReviewKristenComment

Hello, my angels! I’m coming at you live from Long Island, New York, where I’m surrounded by boxes and piles of my belongings. Things are coming together slowly but surely, but I’m still overwhelmed! 

Today, I’m writing about Renpure’s Keratin and Argan Restorative Shampoo. I found it in Target earlier this year and decided to buy it because it had great ingredients and my hair needed some serious restoring at the time. Since then, I’ve chopped a chunk of my mane off (which you’d know if you were following me on Instagram ;) ). My hair feels so happy and healthy!

Anyway, I’ve been trying to use more natural, clean beauty products lately. Renpure stood out to me in the beauty aisle because of this shampoo’s two main ingredients: argan and keratin. I knew that keratin makes hair straighter and smoother, and that argan oil has a ton of healing properties. I’ve learned from Renpure’s website that argan has lots of vitamin E, antioxidants, and fatty acids, which hydrate and refresh your hair. This shampoo was made with berries, apples, and desert lily, so it smells super yummy, which is really important to me all the time, but especially in the shower. 

All of Renpure’s products are free of sulfates, phthalates, dyes, parabens, gluten, propylene glycol, and, my favorite, “bad vibes” :) Renpure donates personal care products to homeless shelters and people affected by natural disasters as well. 

As much as I love Renpure’s mission and practices, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this shampoo. There was nothing wrong with it, but it definitely fell short of my expectations. I’ve been using it for a while, and I saw no difference in the smoothness of my hair or in my split ends, which I had lots of before I chopped them off. With such great ingredients and mission, I really expected more. I wouldn’t be against trying them in the future, but I probably wouldn’t go nuts to buy them again.

Have you tried Renpure’s products? Let me know what you think in the comments!

glossier's milky jelly cleanser

Beauty, Beauty Review, Cruelty-FreeKristenComment

Hello, beautifuls! I hope you’re enjoying these reviews, because I love writing them so much. I have a lot more coming for you, so stay tuned!

I’ve been paying attention to Glossier for a while now (you know, like everyone else on the planet), and have been wanting to give them a try, but I wasn’t sure which product I wanted to get. Then, I watched an Instagram story that compared a regular makeup remover to Glossier’s Milky Jelly Cleanser, and I was so amazed. I knew I needed to get my hands on a bottle right away.

Basically, I’m famous for getting my makeup… everywhere. I’ve been using the same cold cream cleanser to take my makeup off since I started wearing it (just like my mom!) and even though I think I’m getting all my makeup off my face, I soon find tan blotches all over my towels and boyfriends’ shirts. Obviously, this plan has not been going well.

Then, I met Milky Jelly, and it was love at first cleanse. I use this to wash my face every night before bed, whether I’m wearing makeup or not. I’ve never found a face wash that makes me feel so, well, cleansed! My skin just feels so squeaky clean and silky soft. This cleanser makes me look forward to washing my face!

It also does a phenomenal job of taking off my copious eye makeup. I usually pump a little onto a wet tissue and rub it on my eye. It takes my makeup right off. I feel like it actually slides off my eyes. I don’t have to rub as much, so my precious baby lashes can live. And my eyes feel cleansed too. Did you know that your eyes could feel cleansed?

Since I saw the Instagram story advertising Milky Jelly, I’ve wanted to try the same experiment. So, I put on a ridiculous amount of makeup and took off one half of my face using Pond’s Cold Cream Cleanser, and the other using Glossier’s Milky Jelly Cleanser. I used two white towels to take my eye makeup off, and another two towels to wipe my face after I was done washing it.

Pond’s towels

Glossier towels

The towels that I used on my eyes looked relatively similar. Though the cold cream towel looked darker, I found that I had more left on my eye than the Glossier side. The difference between the face towels, however, was pretty staggering. It’s nice to remind myself how much better, cleaner products are really helping me and my skin. 

If you couldn’t tell, I’m Milky Jelly’s number one fan. I’m looking forward to trying more of Glossier’s products!

love beauty and planet's murumuru butter and rose body wash

Cruelty-Free, Beauty, Beauty ReviewKristenComment

Hey loves, beauties, and planets! See what I did there? ;) Today I’m reviewing a body wash from Love Beauty and Planet, a great company that’s been very highly recommended to me recently. Love Beauty and Planet is one of the most holistic, sustainable beauty companies out there. I decided to give their Murumuru Butter and Rose Body Wash a try.

If you’re a frequent reader, you know that I love learning about the ingredients in the products I use and what they do. Love Beauty and Planet is cruelty-free, sulfate-free, paraben-free, and dye-free. Their ingredients are ethically produced and sourced from all over the world. 

In addition to sourcing good ingredients for their products themselves, Love Beauty and Planet’s bottles are made from reused plastic, so as long as you make sure to recycle your container, you’re helping the Earth without even trying. How cool is that? I really admire companies that not only make an effort to be ethical and sustainable, but also build those values into the framework of their brand. 

As far as this body wash goes, I can’t say enough good things! I picked the Murumuru Butter and Rose Body Wash because the bottle said it provided “bountiful moisture.” My skin gets super dry and itchy in the wintertime especially, and I felt like every body wash I tried would irritate me. 

I definitely made the right choice: this body wash is insanely hydrating and gentle on my skin. Murumuru butter, which is one of my new favorite things to say, is known for its moisturizing qualities and smells heavenly, especially paired with rose. I feel so silky soft and pure when I come out of the shower. I feel and smell refreshed. It gives me such a positive boost. This is also probably due to the murumuru butter, which is an anti-inflammatory!

I’ve written before about how showering is a really big part of my self care practice, and this body wash really adds to the process of loving my body while I wash all the dirt and grime of the day off of it. The scent and its hydrating qualities make me look forward to showering even more. Also, very nitpicky, but I really love that this bottle is a pump. It just makes things a lot easier. 

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m over the moon with Love Beauty and Planet, and I’m really looking forward to trying more of their products. Which should I grab next? Let me know in the comments!

lime and lotus organics' purify activated charcoal masque

Cruelty-Free, Beauty, Beauty Review, SponsoredKristenComment

Hello hello! I’m so excited to share this cruelty-free product review with you all today. As soon as Dr. Stephanie Zgraggen emailed me about her all-natural skincare line, Lime and Lotus Organics, I knew I had to share this brand with you all. As a holistic doctor, she started her brand when she was tired of recommending harmful, chemical-filled products to her patients. Like a badass, she created her own skincare brand! She sent me a bottle of Lime and Lotus Organics’ Purify Activated Charcoal Masque to review, and I fell in love. Thanks Dr. Zgraggen!

First of all, I’m such a fan of the ingredients in this formula. This masque is paraben, phthalate, petrochemical, and gluten-free. I’m familiar with almost all of the ingredients on the bottle. The only one I had to look up was sulfone, which turned out to be a sulfate. The formula itself smelled so delicious, like a vanilla cupcake! You guys know I love a nice-smelling beauty product. It’s not thick or sticky, which pleasantly surprised me. I’m assuming it’s because this masque contains only the most essential ingredients.

I also love the bottle itself. I find it so much easier to apply this masque with a pump, and it’s fun to share with friends! I did this masque with three of my friends, and they all loved it as much as I did. I wanted to share it with my mom, but she’s allergic to sulfur, which was the only obstacle I came across with the ingredients.

This masque is made with white willow bark, aloe vera, pomegranate seed oil, and activated charcoal, all of which contain great anti-inflammatory and detoxifying properties. I use this masque once a week to give my skin a little tune-up since it addresses every concern I have with my skin. It makes me feel so relaxed, refreshed, and renewed. The front of the bottle says “Detox, Tone, Hydrate,” and this masque definitely checks all of those boxes. 

I really can’t speak highly enough about this masque and this company. I’m so excited to offer you guys 20% off your purchase from Lime and Lotus Organics with my code, CLNKSTER! Make sure you hurry, because this code only lasts for the next month. If you really can’t wait, I have a surprise coming with Lime and Lotus soon. Stay tuned!

For more information about going cruelty-free, check out PETA’s Searchable Database or Cruelty-Free Kitty’s alphabetized list of cruelty-free brands.