The Clunkster

biovène barcelona's boob and butt masks

Beauty, Beauty Review, Cruelty-Free, Sponsored, WellnessKristenComment

Once upon a time, I received a package from Biovène Barcelona that was full of skincare goodies, like a Glow Ampoule, a Retinol Youth Night Repair Mask, and… boob and butt masks?! Are you as surprised as I was? Great, we’re on the same page. I knew Biovène made so many products to help you and your skin feel healthy and beautiful, but to be honest, the thought of a boob or butt mask had never crossed my mind. 

Cut to me reading the directions and ingredients, doing lots of Googling, and sending Snapchats to my friends (“yes, they actually sent me an ASS MASK!”). Dear reader, I was very pleasantly surprised. So, we’re gonna have some TnA time on The Clunkster today. 


But(t) Why?

Think about it for a second: we put so many serums, creams, toners, patches, masks, cleansers, oils, etc. on our faces to keep our skin looking good and feeling healthy. But what happens to the rest of our body? I love my boobs and butt as much as (if not more than) I love my face, so why am I not paying the same attention to them? While I was typing this, I thought about my poor butt, which I’m sitting on right now. I sit on it all the time in so many different places, I lay on it when I sleep, she’s got a lot going on. If you were face-planting into various surfaces all day, wouldn’t you wanna show your face some love? So why not your butt? Only I’ll get you feeling bad for a butt, I swear. 


Baby Got Back Booty Mask

Let’s start from the bottom. The Baby Got Back Booty Mask has more of a scrub-like consistency. It’s meant to exfoliate, restore, and invigorate the skin on your booty. Ingredients like Australian Pink Clay, Carrot Seed Oil, Rose Petals, and Jojoba Oil cleanse and shrink your pores, so nothing gross makes its home on your beautiful bum. Like I said before, we sit in a lot of weird places. We all know the sensation of the occasional butt zit. It’s not fun! The only thing I want on my butt is a nice handprint. KIDDING! 

But speaking of hands on my butt, my favorite part of this mask was applying it in the shower! After you wash with your body wash (to quote Rocio Cervantes, wash your ass!), lather up your booty with the mask and rub in circular motions. Honestly, this made me feel so relaxed and in touch with my body. As I mentioned, please wash your butt, whether you’re using a mask or not. But have you ever spent some serious time showing your butt some love while giving it some nice, healthy ingredients? It’s a nice feeling, and your behind will thank you. 



Booby Berries Hydration Boob Mask

This mask is all about hydration, hydration, hydration! Again, how often do you make sure your chest area is doing well? Hydration is so important for every part of your body, especially coming out of cold and dry months like these. Lather on this mask when you come out of the shower, while your pores are nice and open. While this one is a bit more creamy, it smells like a dream and glides right onto the skin. Liquorice, Blueberry, Strawberry, and Chamomile work their hydrating magic to keep your chest squeaky clean and blemish-free, because tit zits are not the vibe either. 

Since my boobs are on the front of my body, I was able to see its effects more than the Booty Mask. In fact, my skin felt much tighter and firmer, which was a beautiful feeling I didn’t know existed. Though I love both of these products so much, if you’re only in the market for one, the Booby Berries are your best bet. 

I know this isn’t my typical review, but I’m so happy I took a chance on these masks! Thanks so much to Biovène for sending me their amazing products. Make sure to check them out on their website and Amazon. Use the code ITSMYBIO20 for 20% off your order!

headbanger

StyleKristenComment

A couple months back, my friend and I went to one of the coolest bars in New York, if not the world: Duff’s of Brooklyn! For non-heavy metal fans, this place is essentially a shrine to the bands I grew up listening to. Records and posters cover the walls, ceiling, and even the floor. Seriously, there’s no space that isn’t covered by some form of metal memorabilia. Even the bathrooms are cool! My personal favorites were the zombie sitting amongst the crowd, and the “Devil’s Ukulele,” signed by some of the greatest men in heavy metal. I was full of Corona and awe. 

shirt (similar). leggings. sneakers. sunglasses. lipgloss (in sanctuary).

So what do you wear to a metal bar? I chose my Judas Priest tour shirt (and prayed that the friend I was meeting wouldn’t wear the same one), my trusty leggings, and a pair of heels (but my white Converse looked cute too). I wore my darker lipstick to fit ~the vibe~, and my blue light glasses once I realized how many neon signs there were. 

If you’re a metal fan, I highly recommend checking Duff’s out. And if you’re not, go anyway! Just don’t get scared of the zombie I made out with. 

happy new year!

KristenComment

To be honest, I don’t particularly enjoy New Year’s Eve. I never really have. It’s not like something absolutely horrible happened one New Year’s Eve that I’m traumatized from (even though my ex-boyfriend and I had a tendency to fight at least twenty minutes into every new year, yikes!), it’s just really not my favorite. I think it’s a little overrated. Everyone acts like something absolutely magical is going to happen at midnight. We count down and yell like a real-life unicorn is going to descend and tell us all the meaning of life. I truly don’t mean to sound cynical, but it’s all just a little silly. And though I’m the queen of silliness and meaningless fun, I’m just not a fan of the hype that surrounds this one holiday. 

I get super worked up over those end-of-year wrap-up articles that I don’t even want to go online! “The Best Movies of the Year,” “The Top Ten Craziest Moments in Pop Culture This Year,” “The Funniest Memes of 2019,” I just think it’s so pointless. I was there, I lived it! And now that it’s the end of the decade, forget about it. This is my last sleep of the entire decade. Is something going to be different tomorrow? Are we all going to turn into walruses? We only have three weeks until the end of the decade. What are YOU doing to make them count?

Why can’t we just make every day count? I know I sound cheesy, live every day like it’s your last! But really, what is the big difference between eating ice cream in 2019 and eating it in 2020? Do you feel different? Does it taste better? Did it ~change~ you? Why can’t we live every day like it’s that day, regardless of how far into the year we are? 

I guess it just bothers me that people treat the new year like someone hit a reset button when that isn’t the case at all. I hate to break it to you, but your problems from 2019 will follow you into 2020 unless you decide to let them go. Heck, your problems from November will follow you into December if you don’t let them go! That’s just the way life works (unless I am mistaken and if so please let me know). 

But I think that’s why I get so bothered by New Year’s resolutions too. I’m all about setting goals, but why do they have to wait for the new year? If you want to make a change in your life or set a different intention, why can’t you just do that now? A change in the year isn’t going to make you better or stronger or anything. You’re the only one who can do that! 

That being said, I’m not doing a 2019 roundup or anything like that. I’m gonna keep living my life to the fullest, like I always do. And you bet that involves partying my ass off with my parents tonight, who are planning on throwing an epic New Year’s Eve party. Maybe 2020 will be the year that I fall in love with this holiday, and maybe it won’t be! Whatever happens is fine with me. 

Don’t comment your resolution, comment your favorite place to get chicken nuggets. 

Sincerely Silver's Coordinates Bracelets

Sponsored, StyleKristenComment

Fun fact! We have a week until Christmas. Yes, I’m just as surprised as you are. Yes, I am also scrambling to get last-minute gifts because even though I’ve been alive for twenty-two Christmases and should know better by now, I haven’t bought anything. But it’s not because I’m lazy! 

I’m quite the perfectionist, and I take great pride in getting the best gifts for my family and friends. This results in paralyzing fear that my gifts won’t be cool or unique enough for the people I love. Isn’t that silly? But I’ll never learn. 

I’m the type of person who likes to get meaningful gifts that are special to me and that person’s relationship. I mean, who doesn’t? I just take it a little overboard. I love homemade gifts that I can put my entire soul into (or at least most of my soul since I’m usually in a rush).

So, if you’re like me, you’re probably freaking out a bit right now. But never fear! I have an amazingly special gift idea for you that won’t drive you absolutely insane. Enter, Sincerely Silver’s Coordinates Jewelry

Every relationship has a special place, be it where you and your significant other met, where you and your best friend took a special trip, or just somewhere you and your siblings like to escape to. When Sincerely Silver asked what I wanted on the coordinates bracelet they were nice enough to send me, I asked for the place my dad and I like to venture to every Sunday to clear our heads. Every time I wear my bracelet, I’m reminded of the smell of motorcycle gas and the heart-to-hearts my dad and I share while staring at the most beautiful waterfront views.  

Sincerely Silver has so many different styles of bracelets, necklaces, and rings to choose from. They even have a necklace shaped like the state of California. You’re bound to find the perfect gift for that last person on your list, and you don’t even have to buy a machine and learn how to engrave jewelry the night before Christmas. Not that I’ve ever considered that in a pinch… 

And regardless of the memory attached to the piece, Sincerely Silver’s jewelry is absolutely stunning. My coordinates bracelet fits right in with my little stack of silver bracelets, and always puts a smile on my face. 

Plus, as a Christmas present from me, you can use the code SINCERELY15 for 15% off your order!

Let me know which coordinates you’re getting in the comments!

thinking pink

Outfit of the Day, StyleKristenComment

my grandma’s nursing home has an incredible selfie mirror ;)

Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we? When I was about twelve years old, I was obsessed with the color pink. OBSESSED. I honestly can’t even tell you why. All I know is that I decked everything out in pink, pink, pink. I even had a pink-themed birthday party (which was the bomb, by the way). 

Unfortunately, I think I pink-ed myself out after my tweens, and started wearing darker, more muted tones as I got older. No regrets there! Don’t get me wrong; I love a good pop of color. But head-to-toe pink just took it a bit too far (see photo for reference.) 

i still love a good cross-body bag.

So I really surprised myself when I fell in love with this pink sweater last Black Friday. It’s super feminine and simple, and amazingly comfy. I usually wear it with leggings, but it also looks adorable with the black joggers that I’ve been obsessing over lately. I throw on my denim jacket and a cute matching scrunchie, and there we go! Twelve-year-old Kristen would be proud (and shocked at the lack of bangs).